Stepping back a bit
I’m grateful to a friend who suggested I blog on this – to get my thoughts straight, as well as to get feedback/input. I just looked through the previous entries and get the sense of going in circles. So I’m stepping back today, letting go of judgment, and trying to let go of past disappointments, anger and resentment.
I know now more than I did back then, as most people tend to experience. In the present situation, I will stay in the now and work with what is. To go back and keep tabs on all the things he “did” to me isn’t really getting us anywhere, except that I feel more sad and sorry for myself, even though I know it could be much worse. It has always been an interaction and there have always been both of us playing. I am indeed responsible for my actions, even if I don’t agree with them. That’s how it is.
My thoughts have wandered lately to my ability to relate to people in general. Maybe I need to focus more on that. I know my happiness does not depend on another human being.
Today I base my actions on the day, the events, the interactions. There is live music in town tonight in the pedestrian zone. Some friends are going. I’m going, too. Sometimes it’s good to just get out, see what is happening in the world, talk to other people and forget one’s self for a while. I will remember to laugh, to not take everything so seriously, to take a break from work and enjoy life a bit.
